aneverwinter

This is going to be one huge rant with maybe a little about the depths of the mind. But first is what has got me pulling my hair out.

Someone please make sense of all of the following for me. Really, please help me on this 'cause this is literally feels like i'm going to tear my mind in two. For a while now i've cemented the beliefe in myself that there is a shadow government trying to creep it's way into every aspect of our lives.

In schools from probably before 1st grade, children are being taught things that are lies. Al Gores propoganda film is being shown there. I've heard vocal testimonies and reports from parents who's children say the polar bears are drowning because the ice caps are melting. (Because the earth's temperature rose .5 a degree.) And there is a news report saying that children are loosing sleep because they are afriad of the animals that are dying/drowning. College professors are teaching that President Bush is evil. And those students who disagree are in turned failed of that class.

Next is the justice system. For those who are intune with the news, 'Scooter' Liby was convicted of 4 out of 5 felonies for basically doing his job for the administration. For doing his job. The case never went into the CIA leak of Valery Plane and that her husband leaked her identity. Instead it was turned into a attack against the Bush administration and that the War in Iraq was wrong, Bush lied, and they were trying to cover it up. Richard Armitage leaked the chicks name that was probably undercover, we don't know if she was or wasn't. But that was known yet, it was Liby being convicted, not Armitage.

Speaking of which, there was a Clinton employee who went into the the Federal Records, took some records, destroied some and hid the rest. Official US documents of all things and what happened to this guy? He had his security clearence revocked until 2009, not permanetly, but until possibly a Democrat in habits the White House.

Further injustice (in my mind) was done with 2 Border Patrol agents. Who are sentenced to 10 and 11 years for doing their job! The prime witness of this 'injustice'? The drug dealer they shot at. Who was caught with another load of drugs when he was going to testify against the border patrol agents. Yet he had immunity from the prosecutor because he was going to testify against these border agents. So he walks free. Undoubtedly transporting more drugs and gettign away with sueing the US government for his treatment from the border agents.

Further injustice is when a judge ordered the people of a county he was from to have a tax hike of 200k+ because of the outcome of a trial he oversaw. What. The. Bloody. Fuck? Since when did Judges make the law?

Let's see whats next? Oh yes. I wish I could take my ballot for that traitor Arnold in Cali when I voted for him. Even though he withdrew his proposal, the fact he even proposed a bill to have the state of California provide healthcare of every single child born in California. And the tax payers would fork the bill. While illegal immigrants get all the benefits. This man is a traitor to my belifes now.

Oh, speaking of the manipulation of the judical and educational system. The news media chooses what to report now, and even makes up stories at times. This manipulation of the media, education, and judical system reminds me of countries that use these very same institutions to wrestle control form it's people. Children being brainwashed, propoganda being shown and nothing opposing what someone wants people to see. Sounds a lot like a dictatorship to me, want an example? Iran.

Oh, any women out there that happen to be reading this and happen to known liberal friends. Ask them how women are treated in Islamic countries. Then tell them one chick in one such country (I think it was Saudi Arabia) a muslim woman was gang raped and sentenced to 90 lashes for meeting a guy who was not family.

Betcha that sounds like that'd put a cramp on the dating games here in the US if we become an Islamic country.

Now, growing up I had a black friend I knew for ages. Almost half my life at least now. But now that friend ship was killed and i'm not missing him. But seriously, how come the black community only sees that they are being used by the democrats for their votes, and their so called elected leaders (Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson) wish to see their people protected. If blacks and everyone else got along they would be out of a job. Jesse Jackson offered a scholarship to the stripper of the Duke Rape Case, but guess what Jesse? She was lying about the whole thing. If there is EVER an example of racism is that of Jesse Jackson against everyone including his own people. If everyone got along, he'd loose his job and power as being a 'protector' of the black people.

Growing up I also had strong opinions. And whenever I would voice these opinions to my dad he would caution me not to voice these out loud? When I asked him why he would say something alogn the lines of: Because peopel take offence to that.

If there is one thing that gets me livid and boiling (like today) is that people take easy offence to the words of others. Like they are waiting to be insulted. Is this country turning into a bunch of pansies or something? Because they feel insulted over what someone says, they have the legal opportunity to punish that person for saying that? What happens to free speech then? And why is it always those to the left of issues who do this and those to the right turn the other cheek?

Guess what, i'm almost done. Thanks for taking time to read this 'venom' as someone would no doubt think of it as. But I need an outlet for this and need it now. All of these things and more which just get buried have made me so livid I feel like my head has risen in tempurature and might sprout a volcano.

And this stress isn't helping my immune system. Damnit.

So in closing i'll say this...

It may have been bad that Chenye avoided a poorly attempted assassination. To which people keep saying they should have gotten him. I say Bill Clinton should have done a better job to get Bin Laden.

Al Gore is a propoganda mastermind.

Obama is not black enough.

Mrs. BIll Clinton is nothing but a whiny little girl.

And your mama is so ugly she needs 2 bags to cover her face. (This is intend for those who know who they are)

P.S. Humans use only 10% of their brains. So maybe what's left in the other could be ESP, ability to comune with ghosts, and maybe something like bullet time from every game that uses it. <--- personal opinion.

Whether that makes you happy or sad is not my problem. :P

Oh Snap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omniix7MQa4

So I decided to get around to taking pictures of my zoid collection for Sarah. And figured i'd post them here too. (Not pictured is Matrix Dragon or Chimera Dragon)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection3.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection4.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection5.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection6.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Shadowblade3524/photos/collection7.jpg

I'd post another youtube link to a couple music videos but i'll save that for another time.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my Birthday. All within the span of 3 months. 

Times for everyone to be happy.

Except me.

Cause of my damnable seasonal depression these times are hardly happy, if so only lasting for so long. It's the time I want the most to be happy, that I want to be happy, but it doesn't stay. Never seems to. Even with sarah, my depression has had a hold on me for 5 years almost. It's not going to let go without a fight.

What I want for christmas is not the iTunes home stereo, not the car version either. All I want are these....

1. To have my depression leave me forever...
2. To have my car paid off...
3. To have Sarah...

Merry Christmas. (Liberals can go kiss my ass for saying Christmas)

Today on the Bralgesphere: Race, civil rights and politics. (The fun stuff)

First up, it's Race. It seems that the Civil Rights is still going on, centuries after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. passed away. Now I respect the good Dr. and acknowledge what he did with his life was right and just. However to me it seems that members of the black community want to keep the blackes and the other races at odds with one another for one reason. Because they've made a living out of it. I am of course talking about Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson. If you've listened to the news within the last week or so you'd also heard about a shooting involving the police and a soon-to-be-groom in NYC. The name and position escapes me but an elected man (a black man) came out and said this is a racial crime, that race played a major involvement in this, if the only reason this happened.

This has happened before, but maybe he should have covered his mouth before he found out that not only were black officers present at the shooting, but they were the first to open fire on the man. The man's response to this, race still played a part in this crime, that these officers are murderers, cold blooded killers.

Personal Note: Don't we all remember when we were little we were told in those videos about taking rides from strangers or candy from strangers to go find a grown up (best if it's a policeman) and seek shelter with them. Notice how now that's never the case, that the police, who we are supposed to trust with our safety are put constantly under the microscope, how they are not just human, but can be downright evil. As for being a child once, hearing that a type of person who I thought was to be trusted with my safety suddenly become monsters behind a mask...it's disheartening at least.

Then we have this college professor (a black man who looks like the type from when blacks in mass converted to Islam.) who says during one of his classes, in reference to how the government failed all over in Katrina, that the only way to remedy these problems, is to exterminate all the white people. (I kid you not, he did say that) This is just a shred of what lies between all races I think. But I do hope this isn't how Dr. King wanted the Civil Rights to turn out.

The N word has been making headlines within the last few weeks. However when I hear that word, I don't get it. In all honesty I don't see what's so offending by it anymore. To me, it's like something you see in a museum, never used anymore but never to be forgotten. I don't see the original meaning for it anymore, no one goes into what it was anymore, just that it is a 'bad word'. And when blacks hear it they are supposed to be outraged by it.

Also, the word cracker, seriously, it seems like a half a553d attempt at making a racial slur. That didn't take more then 5 seconds to come up with.

Maybe the reason I don't see what everyone is getting so fired up about is because to me, the Civil Rights never happened during my lifetime, that it was just in the past and something I learned about in school. Maybe these old men should stop trying to relive their old glory days, or at least, try not to be so vocal about it. The Civil Rights are over, time to look ahead, not backwards.

(think I wrote more then I intended on that. x3 )

Next up, Politics. The arena where as I see it, you can't die a fast death like in an actually arena, you die a slow death and your ego/reputation is the first to go. I said in a reply to a friends LJ post that America serves as 2 roles in this world, the crutch and the scapegoat; here i'll go into why.

The Crutch: Every world conflict not originally involing us ended when we got involved. Prime examples of this is WWI and WWII. Could Russia have pulled this off by itself, I think so but it'd dragged out the war for longer then it was originaly and Europe would be an Iron Curtain to the rest of the world if the US hadn't got involved. Britian would be gone. The scenarios played out by the Red Alert games I think would be very close to being real in that event.

And now, the World relies upon the US to get it's interests done. Why do I say that? Because there has been call for Bush to deploy US troops into Darfur to stop the genocide there. Why? I ask you, please explain to me why we should deploy troops into a place that holds no interest to us (Darfur) and we can't fight in Iraq and Afghanistan(sp?) to protect our safety? Why should the U.S. care about what happens in Africa and holds nothing to us but Iraq does.

This leads into US being the scapegoat. Iranian and Palestinian mainstream media says the US is out to control the world. Well with the world coming to us so damn often it's not much of a stretch of the imagination why.

Truth: Politics...how tiresome... (Halo 2)

Personal Note: After Pearl Harbor was attacked, instead of chearing and beig happy like the others in the Japanese fleet, the Admiral in charge of the attack was quoted to of saying this (paraphrased), "I think, what we have done is woken up a great giant". I think he was right at the time, but now, the giant has grown tired, sluggish, sick. It needs to rest.

Speaking of which, my sleep schedual is out of whack again. x3

I don't know how many years i've had this CD, but ever since I got the Zoids New Century/Zero soundtrack i've been looking for the translation of the track songs on the back....

And today I have completed that! Had to search through various Japanese sites to get it but I got it finally. All the while I was updating y iPod with more songs. (700+ songs now)

Only exception are 3 songs, i'll list them here of the translation I got so if anyone can help that'd be awesome! ^^b

16. [torosuhuamu] <~~~ Toros Team or something along there?
18. [erehuanda] <~~~ The fiery battle?
26. [zoidobatoru] <~~~ I have no clue.

[ADDED]

16. Toros Base
18. Elephander

Well me and Sarah made up. We know our feelings and they keep us together.

However, we continue to have problems from other people, including Sarah's best friend Erin.

We argued, I wanted to yell in Erin's face, and what pissed me off, she was comparing herself to me. She was also trying to force her way of thinking onto me. (And I did cuss, and she cussed back at me)

She started by saying that why do me and Sarah fight so much? Truth is we don't. Sure there are things we get on eachother's case about, but what couple doesn't? The most important thing about these arguements is that afterwards me and Sarah want to make up and be happy with one another. To erin these arguements are annoying, I imagine they are but take a moment to think of how me and Sarah feel about it Erin. Or do you not want to?

Can't I get a date  in my own state? Aparently not, been here for 2 years so far and been trying but guess what? I came close but the girl I asked for a date shyed away form me. She was scared from what I was told by her best friend. This same girl who shyed away from me said yes, but then later said no. Erin then made a change to this arguement, saying that there is someone for everyone, close by (peraphrased) to where I live. I think she is just covering herself from being wrong.

How am I supposed to know if a girl I walk past in the mall likes me? I'm not a mind reader. Erin says she has 3 guys who she knows who like her. For what? Well like she had learned before, probably for her body and that's it.

Did God make someone for everyone, i'll take that with a grain of salt but for the sake of this i'll accept this. God did make someone for me, guess what, I firmly believe that person is Sarah. Erin doesn't like this, and says i'm wrong. Obviously she doesn't agree with me but guess what, almost a year we've known eachother like this and we've been through a lot, which'll bring me to my next point. If I did not care for Sarah as much as I do, I wouldn't be here right now, writing this, I wouldn't know Sarah, and in the minds of Sarah's parents I would still be thought I was a sexual predator that they have kept their daughter from.

Have we met in person, not yet. Given certain changes to our lives now it'll be years I think until I can see Sarah for the first time. Now if Sarah's parents would allow us to meet in person, a lot of this would be tossed to the wayside. Is this my fault, to a degree yes, because I have not done anythign illegal to this day. If I go there and meet Sarah, her dad could call the police, but he has nothing to bring against me so I can't be arrested. Given that circumstance, the moment Sarah would get into a car driven by me, her dad could say i'm kidnaping her. Whether I intended to or not would not matter, nor does Sarah's father care.

Yes me and Sarah are states apart. That is because we met on the internet, where our physical appearence comes second to what whe first showed in our hearts and minds. Once again I bring up that her father has been adamant about me and Sarah even meeting in person for even a day. Not to mention me just meeting her dad or her mom without telling Sarah. By the way, that offer has been on the table for months to her parents, they have not taken me up on that offer at all, her dad has even avoided it.

Yes me and Sarah are seperated by 6-7 years of age. I'll be 21 this coming January. Me and Sarah have a firm beliefe that age plays little part in our love, in our relationship.My own parents are seperated by more then 11 years of age, if I recall. But then the arguement comes up (as always) that Sarah is going through a greater change between the next 4 years then I will. This is true. And my only defence to that is if Sarah still wants me after those 4 years, she'll want me. As i'll still want her.

Now this very same arguement me and Erin have clashed swords over before. Each point (except for me not getting a date in my own town or state) was the exact same. However I take a look at each time I go through these, and by the same people who keep coming back with them. Each time they fail to shake my resolve, they fail to kill my love for Sarah. And they keep coming back because they either know i'm right in my line of thought, or think I am. This threatens them and makes them insecure perhaps, that they are wrong, and I am right. And that I am so sure of myself, that me and Sarah are so sure of ourselves, this makes them uneasy, for what reasons, I haven't the foggiest idea.

In closing I admit I did yell, Erin got me upset not to the point of tears, but rage. I did cuss, and yes it was at a girl. Get over it. All I can offer is an apology for cursing at her now that it is over. But what she needs to learn amongst those high grades in school she's getting, is that she is not always right. She can' force her way of thinking onto other people, she can't change how I feel about Sarah. To me I think this annoys her and agitates her and Erin has now taken (once again) the side of Sarah's parents.

Speaking of which her dad has been vocal about how long we've been interested in eachother. Sarah has said her dad has been angry about it saying that "I've put up with this relationship for a year...and blah blah blah." Among what I first said to Sarah was that this prooves we are right, and that her father is wrong. That her parents are wrong. Ever since they've known about me they've been telling her that she'll grow out of me. Her parets have gone to many lengths to tear us apart. Even going as far as calling my Asperger's Syndrome as a mental illness to the point i'm a mental retard and that Sarah would be burdened with that our children would also be mental retards and would waste her life caring for us.

Combine that with her parents willingness to go to many lengths to keep us form communicating with eachother, talk of moving and Sarah not getting a chance to tell me, using a vieled threat to call the police on me if I even step foot in Sarah's hometown. But what about me? I can't do much, what I have done is arm myself with knowledge to avoid falling into any trap set by her parents or anyone else to proove even a little i'm a bad person. As I mentioned before Sarah's father has nothing on me if I meet Sarah in person legally, it would only be until Sarah get's into my car that her father could accuse me of kidnaping Sarah. And as I said before, it wouldn't matter if that was the reality or not. So what's keep[ign me from going right now to see Sarah in person? Her father, to be honest I have not figured a way to deal wit that beyond playing his game by his rules. And this game we're playing has a time limit on it, if all else fails, I need to run out the clock and Sarah and myself win. That will be the end of this story, that will be the end of the pressure ad pain me and Sarah have to endure. Sarah's father sees this ad doesn't like it.

This post is for one thing, if anyone raises any arguements over what i've mentioned before, I will show them this post. Tell them to read this then argue with me if they still have the will to do so. If they don't like it, go complain to someone else unless they give me money to be their counselor.

'06 election year is done. Thank you God. And the results are well...mixed.

On the surface you see one thing, but please, look deeper into what went on. Please.

Democrats control both Houses of Congress. Senate by 1, House by 13(?). This is a victory for the Democratic party. However, many, if not all, of the democrats won because the party itself pulled out candidates that ran as conservative democrats, not as liberals. That is why no one has seen the soon to be speaker of the House in the 2 weeks leading up the the election.

Even John Kerry, a former star of the party, who came out, spoke (in my opinion his mind and intentionly did so) to a university saying in short, if you don't get a good education, you're going to get into Iraq. After that CNN, ABC, CBS(?) tried their best to not only cover up the story but go out and proove Kerry was right!

Getting back to the point, these conservative democrats are puppets put up by the democratic party. Why? Because Nancy Palosi (the soon to be speaker of the house) is the one who is getting credit for being the coordinator of this election. Who is she? A liberal. These conservative democrats won't be able to do anythign they've said, because they owe Palosi personally, she contributed millions to their campaigns. She and the other democratic party elite will be calling the shots (Like John Kerry) not these conservative democrats.

America has been fooled. And I hope the rest of America will realize that before something terrible happens.

An iPod! =D

Let me tell you, it is awesome.

Not just a regular iPod mind you, but an iPod Nano, 4 GBs of space for 209.99 w/ tax. And it's blue. <3 Now normally when I go donate plasma I take my CD player, a jacket nowadays because it's getting cold (which helps giving me complications when donating) and a CD case carrying my other CDs I assume i'll want to listen to.

Now.

Aside from my jacket what music I bring all fits into the palm of my hand. That's it. o.o

Go me. ^^b

P.S. 260/1,000 songs so far, including the majority of my music collection AND Rush Limbaugh podcasts.

Blarg blarg, honk blarg.

El Honk...

Blarg blarg honk. Apples is honk in a blarg. I'll tell yah, that son of a blarg country is really getting me honking mad. They keep going against what the honk is saying and keeps making blargs. Honk that! 

Blarging aside i'm feeling very honky today. Yesterday me and Sarah we're talking and telling me what she got at Honkria Blarget. She even threatened me to take me blarging there one day. x.X In contrast my blarg was really at work, pictureing her blarging those honks. <3

And yes, i'm feeling very honky right now! x3

*Tribute to Crunchbite from RedvsBlue.com

Each passing day I grow more and more convinced this world isn't good enough for me. It's simply not worth it anymore....well it's looking that way.

Think i'd be better of just being a father and my backup career of being a writer. Going political is just so damn stressful an not worth the hassel.

First my current thought, and I really, REALLY, don't like giving these people ANY attention but I have to go and rant this off before I can continue. Now...

Anyone who has been paying 2 cents worth of attention to the news knows about the various school shootings happening. Tramendously disheartening, all of them. The one I am focusing around is the Amish school shooting. Now since this has happened i've come to be humbled by the forgiveness these people preach and live by. Simply wow. ^^b And i'm saddened by what has literally come storming into their lives and thrown them for a loop. I really am, it's sad and tragic what has happened to them. And it's totaly understandable that they fear more of this will happen because of this same messege of forgiveness. I think the Amish need to work with the community around them for a short time at least to help keep them safe. Sure it may break a teaching the Amish have, but i'd think it'd be better overall if we could avoid another one of these shootings. Just everywhere, not just in Amish communities.

Now how the Amish can forgive these people is beyond me. The funerals for these girls have been going on and this one church was going to protest the funerals. I'm not going to say what these people put on the signs. Just settle for the fact they are pathetic who say  everyone is going to hell except their church. (Which is made up of just the one family) And who are lead by lawyers. >_>

And for some reason i'm getting a serious case od deja'vu. o.O 

Oh and the decision I spoke of, i'm going to put out books like those of Bill O'Reilly's book "Culture warrior" and the like. I seriously think I can benefit from putting out a book. Oh and go read the book if you havn't already, i've heard it's very good. -has yet to read it- ;-;

Havn't been to sleep since 11 PM last night, gonna try to sleep again. x3

My DeadJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
aneverwinter goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a Knight of Ni!.
valesck tricks you! You get a piece of paper.
yureiavalon tricks you! You get an empty wrapper.
fancifulreality gives you 15 orange cherry-flavoured gummy bears.
aneverwinter ends up with 15 pieces of candy, a piece of paper, and an empty wrapper.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

http://www.youtube.com/v/vr3x_RRJdd4

OMG watch this video. I felt so good after seeing this. I can garuntee some of you will love this. ^_^

THanks go out to Paulas for showing me this, this video is awesome!

Oh boy, this might take a while to get down. (Though for someone this could take less then a minute to read *cough*sarah*cough*)

First up, is this world crisis from Islamic Terrorists.

Now before I go further let me say this, I purposly said Islamic Terrorists for one reason. And in bold. Because these terrorists have tagged themselves to do these acts of murder in the name of Allah. America HAS NOT labeled them as such, these dregs of society of men proclaim and associate themselves with Islam and the mainstream Islamic society does nothing to seperate themselves from the radicals other then by words. As such my first thought is regarding these men.

These people have nothing compared to what America has. I think this hatred against America was out of envy. Then envy turned to spite, then hatred. And where we are now. Seriously, take a look at any of the -stan countries and look what they got. Then take a look at what we got over here. I mean c'mon, Alaska has better living conditions then those countries! x.X Anyway...so these men took the ONE THING they have and that's religion and twisted it, distorted it, mutating it into the current for it is now. Radical Islam is now a virus, bred and nurtered to fit the wants and whims of those that preech this murder the loudest. People like UBL and his lot, the Hamas leadership, etc... Two more things on this subject.

First is that this has been bred into men world wide that follow Islam. This hate is being tought in schools to children of at least 5 years old. As such this will not going away easily without drastic (and by drastic I mean by current world standards) measures taken to stomp this virus out of exhistence. Which leads to my 2nd and last thing for now on this matter, the threat of Islamic Terrorists will most likely carrying on to my children. It is a strong possibility i'll die of old age before this is over, unless something else happens. Sidenote: UBL's new 2nd in Iraq has called for all muslims to make the month of Rhamadan(sp?) into a month of holy war, calling on nucleur scientists and bomb experts together so they can test their creations on large American bases. Yeah, Islam is slowly being infected with this virus, it'll currupt Islam until all that's left is this mutated form that calls for the blood of innocents by the millions.

Moving on...

Next is to this missing person, he is a Med. Student and went missing the day before he and his girlfriend were to go on vacation together. Thi8s was back in april. No one has seen hide nor hair of this man since. Now his girlfriend  has been giving his cellphone a call each day in hopes he'll pick up. Each day it went directly to his answering machine. Well, come I think early september it rang. But no pickup and after the rings it went to the answering machine.

Odd yes, but that does lead to specualtion. Up until this point the cellphone is believed to have been turned off. Now it has been turned on but no one answered. This makes me think the cellphone was lost somwehere and has been found by someone else other then the phone's owner. Why do I think this? That's because the guy would have made contact with someone definetly by now, not keep silent. Final conclusion: He's gone missing, either kidnapped or worse.

The phone company does have my respect in that they aren't saying much. Why get the hopes high then crash them down?

Next up IS a murder case. The defense lawyer's can say what they want, everyone else is thinking and knows it's murder plain and simple. This young woman had gone into surgery for a face lift, simple enough. Now the nurse comes in afterwards and gives this woman 2 CC's of a mix of 3 drugs. The young woman goes into a coma for 5 days before dieing. Now the part that has the people thinking murder is that an alarm was going off and the nurse turned that alarm off. Not only that but giving the young woman 2 CC's of this mix of drugs was not an accident in any way. Not only was it the wrong drug, it was the wrong dosage (NEVER supposed to give a recovering patient 2 CC's of anesteshia(sp?) ) And the nurse and the patient did have a common past. Both went to the same high school 30 years ago and shared the same boyfriend. Can someone say; Motive?

lastly is ANOTHER school shooting. What is up with these people?! This one was in Colorado and happened at a high school. A 57 year old man tried to blend with in the students. (Mental nutcase!) And talked with students and teachers. Some time after that he brandished 2 weapons and took an english class hostage. There he let all but 6 girls leave where he then sexual assaulted them (touching and the like, no rape). He mentioned a 4 o' clock deadline but the SWAT teams stormed in the classroom before then fearing the worst. The gunman fired upon the SWAT them shot one of his hostages, which killed her, then shot himself. That was probably the only good thing, saved everyone the trouble of killing him instead. >_>

Not to say I'm not angry over what happened. it just, if anyone can just wander into a random school and do this. It's scary. Very scary.

Kind of makes you wonder how the government can keep us safe on domestic issues. Sure terrorism is the greater threat, but you have to keep attention to domestic security and preservation to. And with all the laws and legislation, makes it very hard to get anything done legally in an orderly manner. -_-

Anyways that's it for me, another night where I woke up early and havn't been to sleep since. >_>

Going to keep this short, been awake since 11 PM last night with no rest and feel like i'm going to throw up.

Anyways before I sign off here and go away on AIM I had this thought on my mind. Sarah had a mysterious caller yesterday that has her dad, Sarah, and myself. Though my mind has become my worst enemy (again)  but it made me think that this person simply had a wrong number. I mean i've had weirder calls before (someone called my cell late at night and thought I was this punks girlfriend. x.X ) I mean look at it from this P.O.V.

Someone calls, is really evasive about the questions thrown at him. Though he almost quite literally hung up. My mind isn't buying that until a large amount of time has passed or something happens. I am ready to drive over to her though. I really can't say what'd happen, but then Sarah's dad has made it so caring for someone is almost a crime. I hope he isn't as toothless as I think he is.

One last thing before I go. Humans are conflict, we grow and nurter ourselves in conflict. We find ourselves or find ourselves lacking. I just think that with all of this, how much i'm growing from this, i'd become to strong in a sense. Or something.

Rambling done. Cya'll later.

Just letting my reader's know i'm back for the most part. Need to go for a few but will update in full later tonight.

For some reason I feel like leaving all online RPGs right now, just packing up and focusing all on my real life right now. Even though in the long run it won't make things go faster, the tradeoff is that I could leave the net and check in every once in a while on a few sites to see what's up. The rest of that same side is that i'll be better prepaired for later on and can focus solely on my real life and my future. And where my g/f is concerned, it then becomes our future.

-Sighs- Maybe this is just stress. At any case I know what I need/want to do but my problem is I don't know fully how to do so or how it'll all fall into place. Need to spend more then a few days centering myself.

Hrm. Sad to say but my g/f's parents grew a little too concerned (well her dad mainly) and just made both of our lives increasingly difficult. Mainly she has been banned from speaking to me  and got a hold of my cell number and told me to stay away from her or he'll sue me. Yes she is a minor and for some god given reason he thinks i'm some sort of sexual predator. Or he's a little more crazy then I thought.

Still this doesn't change much, just means me and her must be incredibly careful now until she's no longer a minor. I don't know whether or not to take him seriously and that he'll actually sue me, but this is one of those things I won't leave to chance. Mainly because he can win and i'm not even remotly prepared to fight in my defense in court.

Still I have my plans, and as I said before, they have not really changed that much. Nor will they. I'm still going to move closer to my g/f, we still love eachother despite our ages and what her parents think.

Coincidently i'm going to check back with an old job place to apply for a job there, which will suit me nicely, very nicely indeed.

In all, I have begun to travel on a road that will be rough, perilous, and long. Possibly alone at times, but not lonely. Time to see if I am up to the task.

You know, for some reason nowadays I can't sleep in when I have a day off. And I have no idea why. Maybe it's because of my internal time clock and yet i'm yawning and have a headache for some reason. Just what I get for waking up at...

Let's see...

10 PM last night?!

Need to schedual my next donation, was supposed to go last night but I wasn't feeling good. (Sick/Drained) My days for that are now Thursday and Monday, it works better for me since I can't come in the mornings anymore.

Need to get a friend to send me the version of 'Enjoy the Silence' by Depeche Mode I sent her. I miss that song. I got another version of it but the one I sent to her is more calm, more mellow.

Easier for me to sing along with.